Getting Naked for the First Time
At 40, I went to Burning Man. It was fabulous and messy. I loved the atmosphere, the freedom, the culture, and the fun. I didn’t love the sand in all my bits, the bathrooms being too far away, and the heat. But I wanted to keep adventuring. I then found a playground with as much fun as Burning Man, but more accoutrements that a woman in her 40’s desires. That’s nothing kinky – I just wanted air conditioning and flush toilets. And I got it all at Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica. Although they have all the kinky stuff too.
This has become one of my favorite places on Earth, but it took some brave steps to get there. At 46, I was single (divorced, but why do I need to put that on every application now – can’t I just go back to single?) and ready to mingle. Online dating hadn’t panned out too well. I had a few fun boyfriends, but nothing serious. However, those few fun boyfriends helped me remember how great sex could be. Kudos to them.
I did some research and found out that most singles that go to this resort of pleasure travel with a group. The men go with a group so they aren’t the creepy single guys showing up at a nude resort by themselves and the women go with a group to have a level of protection from the creepy single guys that have shown up at a nude resort.
I found a group I clicked with, talked with their leader, and booked my trip. I arrived and checked into my room. I am totally the person that gets on a cruise ship and then walks through every deck to see where everything is right away. I grabbed an umbrella as it was pouring rain in June in Jamaica, a very common weather pattern, and walked around the property, fully clothed. I walked down to the beach and up and around the “prude pool” and along the rooms facing the ocean.
“Show us your tits!” shouted a woman at a gathering at a hot tub tucked under cover away from the rain. It was in this moment that all the preparation and planning, reading articles about nude resorts, and discussing nudity with my very reluctant friends came to a head. I had wondered before arriving, would I just strip it all off and run down the beach naked and free? Would I be the one who carefully takes off a piece of clothing and covers up with an arm or a hand? Would I come all this way and chicken out completely and wear the 2-piece bathing suit I brought at the prude pool for the week? I let go of all thought and rationale, pulled up my top, and flashed the group. I got a big cheer for my tiny titties and I was thrilled. I did it! I achieved step 1 in my methodical plan to get naked in public.
Step 2 in this very logical plan was to have a few drinks. So later that day, dressed in a tank top and shorts, which is already showing more than I’m used to, I had a few cocktails at the bar with other new arrivals. Several drinks later, we all decided to go to the nude pool. With all the liquid courage coursing through my body, I stripped and got in the hot tub. I did it! I was completely nude, and I was surrounded by others that were completely nude. It was crazy, wild, and exhilarating.
By the end of that week, clothes seemed a nuisance. Where I was once so insecure about the rolls, wrinkles, stretch marks and shape of my body, I was no longer. In fact, I saw such a variety of happy, naked bodies, that I could see all the beauty around me, as well as in my own body. It was rejoiceful.
When you return to real life after Burning Man, they call it returning to the Default World, and it can be a difficult transition. I felt that same angst and burden of fitting back into society when I left Hedo. I have returned to Hedo many times, and each time I take that first step onto the property, I feel a sense of relief and release. You leave society’s baggage at the door and enter a place of true freedom. It’s intoxicating and addicting, in the best possible way.
