Bad Back? Sex Swing!
A few years after my divorce, I met this wonderful man online and we began dating. Well, actually, we both had little kids on a 50% schedule, so we began going out to eat and having sex. We took a few trips together too, but the basis of our relationship and the part that worked so well was the food and sex. I am forever grateful to this man. We’ll call him Rob. Rob taught me a lot about sex, and I was in my early forties.
Rob had an eye bolt attached to the ceiling above his bed. Naïve to what I was about to learn, I thought he must hang a candle holder or something from that to make the room more romantic. I was wrong. Rob had a sex swing.
I had seen these naughty devices at the Hustler store. I pictured them hanging from the ceilings of sex dungeons and red rooms (50 Shades reference), right next to the whip display case and giant X thing with handcuffs.
This modest one-bedroom condo didn’t display the swing daily. I’m sure that would have confused the kids and he would hit his head on it each morning upon waking. That one little eye bolt installed in his ceiling was the only evidence of this sex dungeon staple. He kept the actual swing hidden in his closet.
Post-divorce, I adopted a bit of a “What the hell!” attitude and opened myself up to try almost anything. So, I hopped in the swing and took a ride. That isn’t accurate at all. I awkwardly scooted my naked ass over the edge of the seat and hoped that the eye bolt was in a sturdy stud to hold all of me. I had visions of the ceiling collapsing onto both of us mid-act. We did not demolish his bedroom, but there was a little adjusting needed. Once you get your butt in there, you need to get comfortable with your lady bits exposed, if you are going for penetration that is. Then you must get your feet into the foot straps. They are adjustable which is nice for a variety of users and positions. He stood on the bed between my legs and got busy.
It was then that I realized that the sex swing was one of the best inventions of all time and was probably created by an older person. All I had to do was be there. All he had to do was stand and swing me back and forth to whatever rhythm he chose. It was the laziest I could possibly be with the best possible results! He could even come around and put his dick in my mouth. I just had to turn my head.
Fast forward many years to planning a trip with my vacation boyfriend. We were going to a Secrets resort in Florida. Each room has a theme. It’s fabulous. More on that location in another post. When Evan asked if I had any requests, I enthusiastically replied, “We need a swing!”
The Secrets swing was delightful, but I would recommend they include a ladder or step stool in the room to be able to adjust the height. It was not installed over the bed; that’s where the mirror was. The swing was conveniently located near the front window of the room. This is quite intentional since the policy at Secrets is something like: Door Open, Cum Join the Fun; Curtain Open, Feel Free to Watch. And watch they did.
Overall, I give the sex swing 5 stars for supporting me in all the right places so that he could hit all the right places. Make sure you install it into a stud for safety’s sake or you and your stud may get hurt (couldn’t resist the double meaning word). Make sure that whatever connecting hardware you are using is rating for the weight you plan to put into it. Don’t mess around with those little carabiners that come on water bottles. Go to a home improvement store and get the sturdy ones. Play with the adjustments to get your best play out of it. I’ve only tried stomach up so far, but I imagine you might be able to adjust it flat to do ass up. Then kick back, put your feet up, and get drilled.
After checking out the sex swings available on Amazon, I would have to recommend this one: Adult Sex Swing.
The features I appreciate on this one include:
Two straps for the body. This can be for butt and back, butt and head, pits and hips - whatever you like.
Two straps for the feet. Unless you have the core strength of a yoga instructor, rest the feet.
360 degree swivel - this is much easier than repositioning the entire thing.
Single point to hang with hardware included. I do not recommend the over the door models. You would have much less flexibility in the angles you are trying to achieve.
There is a model that is more expensive that also includes handcuffs, which is a nice add-on, however, their fixed location doesn’t give you as much choice in how to position yourself.
