Aging with Power
Common topics for women over 50:
How to age gracefully?
How to hang on to your youth?
How to dress over 50?
Fuck that shit!
You want me to age gracefully? Like fade into the background so as not to be seen or heard from again? What a horrible waste of my wisdom and experience! At my age, I have been through it. I have seen it. I have done it. My age is an asset. My thoughts and ideas add value to this world.
Yes, I started this post raging against society, but what does that solve? I mean, yeah, it makes me feel a little better, but what is the greater purpose of this rant? Insights into aging are much needed in this society that wishes to tuck us away or trade us in for the new, perkier model. So here are some of my insights. Please add your insights below in the comments to help continue this conversation.
Men Won’t Like My Body
Ha! This is absurd. It wasn’t until I went to a nude resort for a week that I realized what men’s favorite types of bodies are. It’s not big boobs, tiny waist, round ass. Men’s favorite bodies are naked bodies. There are some outliers to this theory, but if a guy is so hung up on how big your waist is, do you really want to deal with that?
I had one experience at Hedonism II where I saw a good-looking man from across the pool. I worked my way over to say, “hi.” It took an incredible amount of courage on my part, because, as I’ve often said, I have no game. I struck up the typical conversation. “Have you been here before? What do you think of this place?” and so on. His thoughts on the resort were this: “There are a lot more bigger people here than I expected.” Now, at the time I was about a size 12-14 and considered myself to be in the “bigger” category. Instantly, this guy’s looks faded. He went from cute and interesting to ugly and lame after that one statement. I didn’t follow-up to see if this ugly man had gotten any skinny action that week and I couldn’t care less. I know that I quickly came up with a reason to move away from him and then proceeded to have the week of my life! I hooked up with guys with “dad bods” and “hot bods” and ladies too. Not one commented on the bigger bodies. In fact, because of what society has told me about my body, I was terribly scared to get naked in front of a bunch of friends and strangers. Those bigger bodies were inspiring to me. Round stomachs, arm flaps, thick thighs – no one cared. And if they did care, most were decent enough to just approach people that they were attracted to, whatever that meant for them.
Here's something else I’ve realized about my aging body and its desirability. If I’m with a younger fellow, he seems to be interested in my experience. If I’m with an older fellow, his vision is as bad as mine and he probably can’t even see my wrinkles. And even if he could, his age and wisdom have taught him that an older woman comes with some excellent benefits. She knows what to do and how to do it, she’s probably lower drama than those young ‘uns, and she is willing to speak her mind. We’ve heard so many times that men enjoy it when women tell them what to do with their bodies for the best possible outcome (pun intended). We older ladies know what we like, and we can talk about it. That is a huge turn-on.
It's Too Late to Have a Good Time
Well, if you are talking about 3 in the morning, then yes, that is sometimes too late to have a good time. I mean unless you had a nap and a coffee. But age-wise – it is not too late! At 50, 60, 70, 80, or beyond, you can do what you want to do. Just recently, Dorothy Hoffner, age 104, set a new record for oldest person to complete a tandem skydive. You go, Dorothy!
Find other like-minded individuals who are looking to spice up their more mature years. These are some of the craziest partiers I’ve ever met. They know their drink of choice and have their hangover cure dialed in because that information comes with experience.
Know your own body and its likes and dislikes. It’s kind of funny what my thought process is at dinner if I know I am going to be partying later – carbs like bread or pasta for a solid foundation in my stomach; no cream sauces, broccoli, or potatoes so I’m not farting all night; and perhaps even a bit of pineapple juice to make my juices taste even better.
Aging Gracefully is Bullshit
Aging is a rough process. It comes with aches and pains, changes in your body processes, and a whole host of other issues. But, again, the wisdom can’t be matched. Do you remember having sex in your early years? It was almost hard to enjoy because you were so focused on “doing it right.” Life is like that too. When we are younger, we focus on how life is supposed to be. Age teaches us that life and sex are messy! Mature adults aren’t afraid of the mess. In fact, we know that sometimes the mess is best, or at least provides some amazing memories.
Just because you needed that nap and popped 600 mg of Motrin and put on comfortable shoes so that you could go out for a night on the town, that doesn’t make your fun any less.
The Answers to Those Questions
How to age gracefully? You don’t. Age with awkwardness, power, and solidarity because you know you aren’t the only one who shouldn’t have broccoli before sex.
How to hang on to your youth? You don’t. Youth was a pain in the ass. You were so unsure of everything and needed so much outside validation. Look at you not giving a single shit about what people think. Isn’t it liberating?
How to dress over 50? However the fuck you want!
As I am one woman, I would love to get input from my readers.
What are your thoughts on aging? How are you aging with power?
